Teachable Teacher

After we miscarried our first son, the Holy Spirit spoke deep into my spirit and said these two simple words, “Never again.” These words brought great hope and strength to me as our next son was born 10 weeks early. I wasn’t worried at all when they began to talk about how he might not be fully formed if we were to deliver this early. I didn’t stress when they talked about the possibility of putting him on a ventilator if his lungs weren’t developed. I didn’t fret when I had to sign papers relieving the hospital from all liability if my wife or son were to pass away during the emergency C-section. But with all the news I heard that day, only one thing really rocked my world.  When I woke up that morning, the Holy Spirit very joyfully spoke to my spirit and said, “Congratulations Dad!”.

At that moment, the weight and responsibility of fatherhood hit me like like a truck. I would now be responsible for another human life. Whether this child was successful or a failure hinged on what I taught him. How he would one day treat his wife and kids would be a reflection of how I would treat my own. An entire generation of the Stevens family was not counting on me not to screw up! So if you’re a dad, welcome to the club. If you’re not a dad yet, think very carefully about what it means before you ever decide to run and play house with the first pretty thing that comes into your life.

Long ago, I sat down and made a list of the duties of being a dad. While this is by not means a comprehensive list, it should certainly bring back some memories for those of you who have already been walking down the road of fatherhood for several miles. So with that being said, here it is:

1. Providing through work
2. Mowing the grass
3. Hanging Christmas lights (Which stayed up until summer)
4. Changing diapers (You’ll get so much practice that you can do these in your sleep. And that’s good because you’ll have to some nights!)
5. Giving baths
6. Using your good shirt as a spit-up rag
7. Answering tough questions
8. Making important decisions
9. Making bottles
10. Checking for noises in the middle of the night
11. Playing even when you’re exhausted
12. Romance your wife
13. Fix whatever breaks
14. Pay the bills
15. Dress the child while mom gets ready (Don’t worry…Camoflauge goes with everything.)
16. Try to remember “Why I came into this room to begin with”
17. Doing the best you can to lovingly prepare this child for the real world, all the while being scared to death that you’re going to fail miserably

Yes, this is our world dads. And the list could go on and on. Fatherhood is not for the weak, nor the irresponsible and immature. But fatherhood is also not for the lone-ranger-workaholic.

Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep. Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. (Psalm 127)

It honors God when you work hard. It also honors your family. But always remember men, that hard work without the hand of God’s approval and favor will never bring about the results that you desire to see. So how do you begin to allow God’s hand of favor in your life? Fear God, and walk in his ways.

Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord; that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord. The Lord shall bless thee out of Zion: and thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life. Yea, thou shalt see thy children’s children, and peace upon Israel.

Blessing begins with respecting the position of God in your life, and by modeling a Christ-like life for your wife and kids to see. While you may have a lot of hats you wear as a dad, these two duties have to be the hub that all the other duties revolve around. Then, and only then men, can God bless the household you’re trying to build. Keep him first, and he promises to keep your family under his hand.